Beer Tap Tales: Confessions of a New Hampshire Barkeep

Before Northern Exposure or Cheers, Teddy ran a bar in rural New England. Elvis died. Loggers arrived. UFOs flew. Skylab dropped. Snow fell. Trucks crashed. Tempers flared. The jukebox played. And people drank. Heavily. Ice wasn’t the only thing that cracked as events spiraled out of control. Teddy wanted to strike back at several of his worst customers, but would he? Was it really that bad?

In the back of his cash ledger, Teddy listed private reminders.

  1. Fix front door. Again.
  2. Don’t fly with student pilots. Ever Again!
  3. DO NOT run tabs for woodchoppers!!
  4. Install bars on windows. And doors.
  5. Steal the kid’s bike.
  6. Stop telling people where I live!!!
  7. STOP loaning customers $$.
  8. Stay on good side of Phil (bad cop).
  9. Steal the kid’s motorboat.
  10. DO NOT sell Two Pin 3 beers!
  11. Figure out how to nullify (kill) Pete.
  12. Hide ice pick from Maggie.
  13. Tune out Shakespeare’s hair-brained ideas.
  14. Stop launching UFOs.
  15. Do not tell Roy’s secrets to ANYONE!
  16. Do not drive Dan home. Ever Again!
  17. Hide fish fertilizer from Maggie.
  18. Sell out and leave town as soon as possible!

You’ll crack up as you read these darkly humorous connected stories revealing how Teddy navigates hilarious situations and copes with his unhinged bar customers. Grab a beer and take a seat in one of his rough-cut pine booths as the action unfolds. No guarantee against splinters.

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